The RSI Challenge To President Bush

President Bush is starting to look like "The Sixth Sense" president. The psychologist played by Bruce Willis in "The Sixth Sense" didn't know he was dead but kept on treating a patient anyway. In a similar way, President Bush keeps on making his typical tough-guy gestures although he's as close to being politically dead as you can get while still in office.

Today's remarks on the fired prosecutor scandal are a case in point. The president challenged the Democratic leadership to take it or leave it on his offer to have Karl Rove, Harriet Miers, and Justice Department officials give interviews to Congressional committees without subpoenas, in private, with no transcripts being made.

During the salad days of the Bush administration, that kind of tactic was always a "heads I win/ tails you lose" proposition. But now it's the Democrats who win these games. If the Democratic leadership decides to subpoena Bush's aides and Bush takes them to court, the federal prosecutors scandal will still be going during next year's elections. That would be a win for the Democrats. If Bush caves or Gonzales resigns, then President Bush looks weak and ineffective in dealing with the Democratic Congress.

Heads Bush loses! Tails Bush loses!

Here at RSI, bleeding heart liberals really care about self-esteem and what President Bush needs for his self-esteem is a win. After careful consideration I've decided to help President Bush by challenging him to race me in a one mile run or a ten mile bike race. That's right, big guy. Bring it on!

This way, President Bush would be sure to get the victory he needs to feel better about himself. It seems that being President is not that time-consuming and President Bush has lots of time to work out and stay in shape as a result. Not having been an athlete in high school or college, President Bush doesn't seem to have any sports injuries either. As a result, President Bush is a good runner and a cyclist.

And I would be the perfect opponent for him. I eat way too much, have two ruptured discs in my back from my football days, and am tremendously out of shape. I couldn't run a mile to save my life and it would probably take me a full day to do a ten-mile bike ride. What better way to boost the President's self-esteem than compete with someone like me.

Take the challenge Mr. President! It's time to get back that winning spirit. Just name your date and I'll can guarantee that you'll win even though I'll be doing my damnest. I'll even let you taunt me after you win.

Go ahead! What have you got left to lose?