The Gonzales Standard Lie

Al G's Short Term Future. It appears that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is not going to be Attorney General much longer. Apparently, the Bush administration is already looking for a replacement.

The Repeat Lesson. But it's important to learn everything we can from Al G while he's still with us. Of course, there's the usual red-state type things that apply to Kentucky as well as the Bush administration and need to be repeated over and over again. That's especially the case with the amazing power of cronyism to advance the careers of incompetents.

The preferred way of doing things in Kentucky, cronyism and it's evil twin nepotism dominate local government, public schools, state government, and private business. May I be struck by lightning if cronyism isn't also the dominant way of doing things in Texas. In fact, there's a book out by Robert Bryce on Texas cronyism entitled Cronies: Oil, the Bushes, and the Rise of Texas, America's Superstate. Maybe Bryce has some passages on how Al Gonzales got three jobs in Texas state government while Bush was governor.

Unsurprisingly, one of the things that defines the cronyism ethic is the contempt "good old boys" have for anything that keeps them from doing exactly what they want and that includes rules, qualifications, procedures, or any kind of an idea of a good outside their families and friends. When the Bush administration ignores the Constitution and the law, tramples on individual rights, and tortures, they're not just living a right-wing fantasy. They're also doing exactly what their fathers and grandfathers did in the Texas plains, Kentucky bluegrass, and Mississippi Delta. They're doing exactly what they want.

Needless to say, cronyism is a prescription for constant failure at both the national level and the state level. It's one of the important reasons why the Bush administration has performed so poorly in Iraq and with Katrina, and one of the main reasons why Kentucky ranks at the bottom of everything except horse manure and marijuana harvests.

What's New. But Al Gonzales has made his own unique contribution to the history of cronyism in national government--the Gonzales Standard Lie. When challenged about torture during his conformination, Gonzales simply stated that "I share (the president's) resolve that torture and abuse will not be tolerated by this administration." That's simple and clean--no effort to define torture, no explanation of why the Bush administration's interrogation techniques don't fit definitions of torture, no messing with principles, rules, or facts at all. The Gonzales Standard Lie is not a hype, not a big bragging lie. It's a simple emphatic statement that puts the burden on the questioner to prove him wrong. This lying technique works particularly well in cases like where the questioner does not have access to relevant information. In relation to the torture controversy, Al Gonzales could state that "torture and abuse will not be tolerated" and rest easy in the knowledge that the facts in relation to torture were classified and that he could not be contradicted.

The Gonzales Standard Lie is a generalizable technique. For example, if my daughters asked me if I smoked pot when I was their age, I could just say "I never smoked pot," act like I was offended that they would even ask the question, refuse to answer annoyingly detailed questions about the issue, and rest easy in the knowledge that I would never be contradicted by my college friends, grad school friends, or first wife. That would be a Gonzales Standard Lie.

Unfortunately for Gonzales, the technique didn't work in the prosecutor scandal. When asked if the firings were politically motivated, Gonzales smoothly replied that "Nothing could be further from the truth.” But this time, fired federal prosecutors like David Iglesias began to provide the media with facts about their contacts with state Republicans and the Bush administration. As a result of the press having access to these kinds of fact, the Standard Gonzales Lie ultimately failed and Gonzales will probably have to fall on his sword.

Still Alberto Gonzales should be given credit for perfecting a new departure in the history of corrupt politics.

Congratulations Al!

And Good-Bye.