Bill Kristol, Puppies, and Conservatism

Bill Kristol's column on Obama's victory speech has a little sidebar about puppies and ideology that reveals his ignorance of conservatism in the age of Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney:

Obama was, naturally, asked about the promised-but-not-yet-purchased puppy at his press conference Friday. (If one were being churlish, one might say that it was typical of a liberal to promise the dog before delivering it. A results-oriented conservative would simply have shown up with the puppy without the advance hype.)

Despite his relentless efforts to promote Palin, Kristol still doesn't get it. A "results-oriented conservative" like Sarah Palin wouldn't have shown up with the puppy, she would have rode shotgun on a helicopter as she chased the desperate little puppy over miles of tundra before she shot it.

Conservatives liked the movie Bambi where Bambi's mom got shot. They like shooting puppies too.

After Palin shot the poor little thing, Dick Cheney would have started an interrogation. I won't go into the gory details, but let me just say that Cheney wouldn't have taken "woof" for an answer.

Unlike Bill Kristol and his New York Times audience, real conservatives are "Outlaws" who don't care about puppy-dog sentiment any more than they care about the environment or the Geneval Convention.

Or life in general.

If Outlaw-in-chief Jeff Goldstein of Protein Wisdom gets ahold of life, he's going to "jump it, drag it behind a dumpster, and take whatever cash or drugs it happens to have on it."

Now that's a real conservative.