Sports Shorts

Basketball--Kobe Bryant is A-Rod in baggy shorts and the Lakers are the Yankees of basketball--over-rated, undertalented, and seemingly confused. But Rajon Rondo is for real and might be able to squeak the under-manned Celtics by Orlando.

I like watching super-talented guys dominate with their abilities and hate guys who try to make up for their lack of talent by hustling too much, thugging it up, or being such coach creatures that they might as well have been created in a coaching lab. So watching Lebron James and the Cavs will be great this spring.

Football--ESPN just made themselves a laughingstock by hiring Matt Millen as a football analyst. Millen is the worst general manager in the history of professional sports. Who's going to care about his opinion as a football analyst?

I have to admit that I follow the NFL offseason much more closely than I should. It's been a bad year for "personality" players like T. O. and Plaxico Burress, the kinds of guys who can really play without being zombie-like, yes-men like Peyton Manning or Tom Brady.

Speaking of zombies, Brett Favre is once again waffling on whether he wants to be bored out of his gourd in rural Louisiana or playing football for several million dollars. I know what I would do and I'd be surprised if Favre didn't keep trying to make comebacks until he either moves to a more interesting part of the country or his arm falls off.

Baseball--Baseball is a minor sport on the high school and college level. People shouldn't give it so much attention on the professional level either. Good television for insomniacs though--"there's the pitch--ball one" could put anyone to sleep. Actually, Vin Scully always does a good job of conveying the sleepy aesthetic of a baseball game.

Hard to believe my favorite baseball player Manny Rodriguez was discovered using forbidden substances. If a wily and extremely wealthy veteran like Manny was caught with his pants down taking growth hormones, the sports cops really must be catching up to the sports druggies.

Too bad there isn't an Italian baseball league. Manny would have been great playing for Roma, Milano, Torino, or any of the cities I want to move to after I win the lottery.