Solace. I've gotten a lot of solace from looking at what's written for the "In Loving Memory of Dr. Gregory Goldey" group on Facebook. Benji Conner, I believe, was the one who started it up. Thanks.
Buddhist Service. Mary and I went to a small service for Greg at the Buddhist temple in Lexington. Given that I have a bad cold, the fact that the Shambhaya Center was freezing and that we were expected to remove shoes was a very bad sign. And then they brought out the incense to get my allergies going. But I warmed up to the service because it was great. People told stories about Greg and got out their feelings about Greg's illness and death. In my own thinking about Greg, I was affectionately remembering how grouchy and complaining Greg could be while he was healthy. Knowing that Greg was kind of annoyed when I started wearing ties again, I wore a one of my brightly colored ties to the service--just to annoy him one more time for old times sake.
Not a Fan of Buddhism. I'm not a big fan of Buddhism and didn't know how important Buddhism had become to Greg over the last four years. But the people at the Temple were extremely nice and I was glad to learn a little bit about their rituals and chanting. Even though I'm not a Christian and have come to the conclusion that Christianity is weird, I value the lovingness and generosity of Christians like the lovely Mrs. RSI. I found the same to be the case at the Buddhist center.
New Experiences. As the coordinator of the government program, I presided over a moment of silence for Greg at our meeting this morning. Not being a religious person, I had never initiated such a thing before and I felt strange and incompetent--like I was floating in space--the whole 20 or 30 seconds I kept my eyes closed.
Hopefully, that gave Greg a good laugh wherever he is.
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11 comments:
Go ahead and delete this comment again, Ric, but it doesn't change the fact that you have absolutely no class.
I'll repeat myself so hopefully your adoring students will see it--You complain about your physical discomfort at Greg's memorial service and then you take a swipe at his religion. Real classy!
And for all your proclamations of deep friendship with Greg, it didn't stop you from voting against him when he went up for tenure, did it?
Some "friend" you are.
I think I know who this "Anonymous" is.
Evidently, "Anonymous" doesn't have much in the way of reading skills. My post on the Buddhist service stated that I was moved by the warmth of the service and the niceness of the hosts despite not liking Buddhism. When I want to dump on religion, I generally take on Christianity instead.
Likewise, I didn't proclaim any kind of "deep friendship" with Greg. I was very moved by the conduct of Greg and his family and closest friends while he was ill, and wrote about that several times on this blog. But that's far from saying that I was one of his closest friends.
The only thing "Anonymous" gets right is my tenure vote and that's why I'm replying to his comment. I did vote "no" when Greg came up for tenure and Greg and I had a number of hard conversations over the way I evaluated him when he was an assistant professor. Evaluating colleagues is very tough because there are times when you have to evaluate people you like negatively. This was the case when I evaluated Greg and he definitely let me know about his anger concerning those evaluations.
That was more than five years ago though. After Greg became government coordinator, he and I worked closely on issues concerning the government program and gradually did become allies and friends. Given that Greg and I were very different kinds of guys, we always had to work through our opposing styles, tastes, and ethical priorities as we discussed govt. program issues. But I'm a very open person and so was Greg and we almost always figured out ways to cooperate with and rely on each other. That's the kind of thing that friends do and I counted Greg as one of my friends.
My reading skills are at least as good (if not better) than your skills at dissembling (nice ad hominem, BTW).
What is "Not a Fan of Buddhism" (in bold letters, no less) supposed to mean if it is not intended as a swipe at Greg's religion? Despite all the "nice" things you had to say about the experience, you obviously still held the people there and their belief system in genial contempt.
And yes, Caric, throughout Greg's ordeal you implied that you were a good friend of his. All of your good deeds (bringing him lasagna, etc.) were really meant to show what a great magnanimous guy you are.
Rationalize all you want. That's the one thing you're really good at.
You're still having difficulties with the simple prose of my reply. Maybe, you should think about repeating your education. You might have gone to one of those soft "liberal" schools that don't teach kids the basics.
Again, with the ad hominem attacks, Caric. Is it because I'm right and you know it?
Pathetic.
Not at all. I think you're stupid and the academic in me is trying to locate the nature of your stupidity. So far, we've tried poor education. That still strikes me as accurate. I assume you went to school in one of those states with bottom of the barrel education systems like Texas or Mississippi. It's really sad to grow up in a state that refuses to adequately fund education, but it happens.
But I don't think it's just education. I imagine there's also a genetic component to your inability to read a few sentences and interpret them in any kind of viable manner. Genes are such cruel things--selfish too I've heard. But some people just don't have the biological "it" that allows them to do things well despite their educational deficiencies. One of the odd things about Morehead State University is that practically everybody here has more ability than they manifest in Kentucky's lousy high schools.
But some people just don't have what it takes. I think you're one of them.
What's the matter Ric? Can't match wits with someone other than your 18-20 year old students (I'm sure all those hillbillies must be real impressed)? So you have to resort to ad hominem attacks--the domain of the intellectually and ethically bankrupt. Sad really.
Is being an asshole genetic too? That must be your excuse. You got it from your father. I heard he beat you and told you what a worthless pussy you are. You know what? He was right.
If I were the product of poor schools, I wouldn't know the difference between "ignorance" and "stupidity." But I do. Your childish post shows that you don't know the difference. So what does that say about YOUR education, hmmm?
That's right, you're teaching at Morehead State, not Harvard. My bad.
I'll let you have the last word, assuming you don't delete this post like the chickenshit pussy you are. Keep coming with the clever ad hominems.
Oh, your feelings are hurt. Tsk tsk! That's so unfortunate. But we can't stop now. We've almost reached the bottom. As you remember, the question is why you're so stupid you can't read simple sentences. Let's see, we've covered bad education and bad genes (Are you sure you didn't have a terrible case of acne when you were younger?). But that doesn't fully explain your stupidity does it? I would think that your stupidity is a matter of character as well. You seem to be the kind of person who is so uncomfortable with any disagreement that you can barely talk with people who agree with you on almost everything. That's why you see my saying I'm "not a fan" of Buddhism as "taking a swipe" at Buddhists or demeaning their religion. Evidently, you don't see how people can disagree or not particularly like one thing about a person or one thing a person does and still value, respect, or love that person. Fortunately, most peple aren't as narrow and rigid as you are. Otherwise, the world would be an even worse place than it is now. I'd have to saw that your stupidity owes to bad character as well as poor education and swimming at the wrong end of the gene pool. Sometimes life just isn't fair.
Did I make you mad, Caric? So mad that you are unable to come up with a more clever insult than "you are stupid, uneducated, and genetically deficient?" Is that all you got?
You disappoint me. I expected such an educated, cultured guy like yourself to come up with something more original when it comes to insults. Be a little more creative. Quit repeating yourself.
You bring to mind an image of Donald Duck on a computer getting into a fierce argument in a chat room with some unknown person at the other end. As the other person continually outwits him, Donald gets angrier and angrier and types more and more furiously on the keyboard--to the point he can no longer spell or come up with a counterpoint other than "you're stupid, stupid, stupid!" Then out of frustration, he takes a hammer to his computer.
Are you at that point yet, Ric? :)
Anonymous,
Were you a friend of Dr. Goldey's? If so do you think he would approve of you using his death as a means to perpetuate a personal grudge against Dr. Caric? Would that correlate with his Buddhist ideology and faith?
If not (which I believe to be the case), then haven't you disrespected Dr. Goldey, his legacy, and his religion far more than Dr. Caric ever did (although I don't think he did)?
Doesn't that make you a chickenshit pussy and a douchebag at the same time?
Why, I think it just might.
I'll just go ahead and say what everyone reading this post is thinking: Anonymous *is* Caric. He's having a conversation with himself.
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