Note to Self--Don't Write 800 Page Memoir

The ghost of West Virginia's Robert Byrd is paying the price for his decision to write an 832 page autobiography. Michael Grunwald of Time read every pompous word--and then savaged Byrd's memory for his trouble.

Here's the most telling bit:

It was only later [after 1964 when Byrd filibustered the Civil Rights Act) that racism became a liability for ambitious Democratic politicians, and it was only later that Byrd became a civil-rights advocate of sorts.

I say "of sorts" because Byrd's 832-page exercise in gasbaggery includes a creepy passage in which he describes white ethnics as "former minorities" who "sought no special status," implicitly contrasting them with modern minorities who "push and shove and demand something for nothing." When Byrd broke the Senate's longevity record, I poked fun at that passage along with others that decried "multiculturalism" and compared cities to "the jungles of Africa." But if Byrd's memoirs suggested some lingering discomfort with diversity, they revealed a much more visceral distaste for modernity, a fierce nostalgia for "the days of my boyhood," when America was great, kids had manners, the funny papers were funny and even Coca-Cola was "a more zestful and invigorating drink."

Uh, yeah — it was made with cocaine back then.

But the bottom line is that Byrd deserved it.

More on Chris Henry and Brain Damage from Football

CNN is carrying a more detailed report concerning the brain damage suffered by the late Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals. Here's a pretty clear summary of the Chris Henry problem.

Doctors found evidence of brain damage, called chronic traumatic encephalopathy, that has been observed in retired players who've had many concussions. Unlike those older players, Henry was 26 when he died.

Later in the article, one researcher in the area cautions that no causal link has been established between chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) and concussions from football. Establishing a causal link would probably be difficult because it would involve nailing down the chemistry by which concussions and recovery from concussions would result in the accumulation of Tau proteins involved in CTE.

Still, there are a number of cases of older former football players suffering from CTE. The main question is how Chris Henry's playing professional football might have resulted in early onset CTE.

What makes Henry's case especially ominous is that he played wide receiver rather than one of the "head-knocking positions" in football. At most, wide receivers would only get hit eight to ten times a game and might not get hit at all. play. To the contrary, offensive and defensive linemen can be seen as using their heads on almost every play--every running play anyway. They don't just use their heads in games either. Any kind of scrimmage or full-contact blocking drill would involve head use by linemen. The same with linebackers.

The big physical safeties use their heads as battering rams. Running backs and quarterbacks take a lot of hits to the head as well.

Football's a brutal game.

However, Wide receivers don't have passes thrown to them on most plays and therefore aren't being subject to being tackled on most plays. Likewise, where wide receivers are most susceptible to head injuries is catches over the middle of the field and my understanding is that Chris Henry was not primarily a middle of the field receiver. So, Chris Henry would have been even less likely to suffere concussions than other wide receivers.

As a result, the fact that Henry had early onset brain damage is very disturbing and raises the question of whether the game itself has become dangerous in a systematic way.

Who Would Jesus Shoot?

I'm already starting to see campaign footage with Republican candidates and "conservative Christians" out on the firing range. But isn't there some video of Jesus with a machine gun?

Maybe the Knicks Should Just Kidnap Lebron

Otherwise, he's probably be more likely to sign with one of the local rec teams in Akron or any of the thousands of other basketball teams in the United States that have more talent than the Knicks.

Brain Damage from Football Starts Early

It appears that Chris Henry, bad boy receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, had pretty advanced brain damage from hits to his head even though he was only 26.

Among other things, this makes me glad I didn't have any sons. I had at least three concussions while playing high school football and basketball myself.

Death of Robert Byrd

Robert Byrd, the senior Senator from West Virginia, died last night. Byrd was known for his incredible endurance as a member of the Senate more than anything else. He was exactly a legislative dynamo like Ted Kennedy, but he did have his moments--his early opposition to the invasion of Iraq being the most prominent.

A Pre-Written Headline on Obama

The Daily Telegraph, a newspaper in a minor soccer playing island on the edge of the European continent, has a headline saying that Obama's firing of Gen. McChrystal "shows weakness." Of course, they would have had the same headline if Obama had kept McChrystal.

Friedrich Engels Revisited

This looks like an interesting restatement of Engels classic thesis on the origins of the family and marriage-- Sex At Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality.

More Mistress Troubles on the Right

Mel Gibson has joined the long list of prominent conservatives with mistress troubles.

Legal representatives for Oksana Grigorieva - the mother of the actor's eight-month-old daughter Lucia - attended an emergency hearing at a Los Angeles court, where the judge was told the Braveheart star had been "extremely violent" towards his former partner.

At least I think it's Mel Gibson. Gibson, Mark Sanford, Jon Ensign, David Vitter, Mark Souder--the names all tend to blur together. And it's not like Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh won't start collecting new mistresses now that they've both remarried for the 5,000th time.

The main difference between Gibson and the other philandering conservatives is that Oksana Grigorieva is complaining about physical and emotional abuse rather than the run-of-the-mill mistress stuff of not getting enough attention.

Well, what to say. I'm not going to call Gibson a hypocrite. That's as obvious as calling him an Australian or saying that the Pope doesn't like women and gay people.

Besides, conservatives have a decent response when they say that their moral standards are valid despite the fact that so many conservative guys have mistresses.

In exchange for my generosity on this issue, I would like conservatives to agree that feminists and other liberals have been absolutely right in their uncompromising condemnations of domestic violence.

In this case, political correctness has been an absolute benefit to society.

Who says we can't all come together?

Obama's Image Problem

Obama's image problem boils down to this.

"In Your Face" leadership responds to everything and doesn't accomplish much other than mobilizing opponents. George Bush is testimony to that.

But "In Your Face" is addicting.

People on the left want it just as much as people on the right.

HuffPost wants it just as much as Sarah Palin.

In that context, Obama's "Not In Your Face" leadership looks like "unengaged" and the right is beginning to pounce on it.

Theda Skocpol Hits Nail on the Head

Harvard sociology great Theda Skocpol on the efforts of Congressional Republicans to undercut the economic recovery as a way to better position themselves for 2010 election.

Ghana Wins!

So, the Ghanaian team elimates the U. S. 2-1 in overtime. That's twice in a row that Ghana has eliminated the American team. But the U. S. played pretty much according to its world rankings. If we want out soccer teams to play better in the World Cup, we'll have to become a better soccer nation.

Bin Laden Hunter Gary Faulker as New Hero on the Right?

It might be that the right wing is developing a new hero in Gary Faulkner, the guy who went to Pakistan on his own to hunt Osama bin Laden.

CNN reporter Jim Spellman certainly slobbers all over him.

Keep the Idiot McChrystal

Let's play the "you get to be president" game. Here's the scenario: your top military commander in your hopeless war grants a rolling interview with a popular music magazine.

That's stupid enough.

I mean, what exactly was the chance that Rolling Stone would come out with a positive story about the war in Afghanistan?

Then, it turns out that the idiot four-star general lets the Rolling Stone reporter see him and his ten man in full rap star mode, with his whole ten-man posse of "killers, spies, geniuses, patriots, political operators and outright maniacs" letting their hair down. Everybody's in full wise-guy mode. They're wise guys. They're "completely shitfaced" at an American bar in Paris. They're belligerent. They're t0tal assholes. McChrystal's posse doesn't just dump on President Obama in McChrystal's name. They make sure they name the name of every civilian official they don't like and why--including Joe Biden, Special Envoy Richard Holbrooke, Ambassador Karl Eichenberry, and National Security Adviser James Jones.

Wait a minute! They forgot to dump on Jones' secretary. Well, thank God for that.

But they do like Hillary Clinton because she's for giving McChrystal everything he wants.

Then, to make matters worse, General Stan and his posse proceed to dump on the war he's supposed to be winning. It turns out that the General doesn't think he's winning and doesn't think the war can be won.

And of course, McChrystal's interview with Rolling Stone also provides an occasion for all the highly placed opponents of the war in Afghanistan to have their say and for all the opponents to look extremely reasonable because the general himself pretty much agrees with them.

Talk about stupid!

So, if you're president, do you keep General Stan in his job or do you fire him for being a belligerent asshole and a fucking idiot?

My considered opinion is that Obama should keep the idiot, but that he should force the idiot to replace every last person on his posse--er, staff--who talked for the Rolling Stone interview.

Every last one one of them.

The case for firing McChrystal is that he's another "idiot general" in the vein of Douglas MacArthur and that he's a threat to civilian authority over the military.

I don't think so.

McChrystal didn't make the derogatory comments about Obama himself and is not defying Obama's orders. That takes McChrystal out of MacArthur territory right there. McChrystal wasn't quoted as criticizing the president's strategy for the Afghanistan War either. In relation to McChrystal, the main problem with the interview is that he let the Rolling Stone reporter see the normal ups and downs of communication with people like Richard Holbrooke.

That's stupid, but it's not betraying the Constitution.

The other big problem is that his staff people are clueless about just about everything except fighting the war on the ground.

But the article doesn't make McChrystal and his staff look that bad in terms of fighting the war on the ground.

(to be continued)








Did I mention that McChrystal and his staff were total assholes?



It's

The Answer is No

The New Yorker asks whether Mike Huckabee is Is the wayward Republican Mike Huckabee now his party’s best hope? The answer to that question is No! Mike Huckabee is a second tier candidate behind Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney. Huckabee has no sizzle in his personality. Likewise, Huckabee has no steak in his record. Even worse, he pardoned somebody who ended up killing cops in Seattle. Huckabee's well-enough known to score well in the polls two years out, but isn't going to be competitive with Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney.

Problems with State Pension Funds

No surprise here. The New York Times has an article on the problems of state pension funds and the efforts of state governments to cut back benefits. It wouldn't hurt to detach pension funds from Wall Street either.

Plenty of states are talking about extending the retirement age to 67. By the time I'm 67 in 11 years, people will be working till their 70 and I'll be one of them.

Touchdown Jesus Burns--Church Refuses to Take Hint

The famous statue of Jesus along I-75 in Ohio--Touchdown Jesus--burned down as a result of being struck by lightning last evening.

The famous King of Kings statue at the Solid Rock Church in Monroe is no longer after a fire destroyed the popular landmark Monday night.

The 62-foot tall statue of Jesus constructed out of styrofoam, wood and fiberglass resin caught on fire after the right hand of the statue was struck by lightning during the severe thunderstorms around 11:15 p.m.

If I were a member of Solid Rock Church, I would be interpreting the destruction of the statue as a sign of God's disfavor. It's hard not to notice the parallel between Touchdown Jesus and the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah, or the destruction that Jesus forecast for Jerusalem in the Gospel of St. Matthew.

But instead, the church seems intend on rebuilding.

King of Kings was constructed in 2004 at a cost of $250,000. It was designed by a Knoxville, Tennessee, artist, built in Jacksonville, Florida, and transported to Monroe for assembly. Leaders of the 4,000 member congregation said they saw the statute as a way to give people hope, not just impress them.
Church officials say the statue will be rebuilt and they will go forward with their July 4 celebration in a makeshift manner.

Of course, if the Solid Rock Church wants to continue down the road to ruin, they shouldn't just settle for rebuilding the statue. Why not create a multi-piece Jesus installation and add a "Dunking Jesus" in honor of the NBA, "Rapping Eminem Jesus" in honor or popular music, and an "NRA Jesus" wearing camouflage gear and carrying an AR 15.

That would really get the attention of everybody driving down I-75.

It would get God's attention as well.

That is, if there's a God.

Sarah Palin: Hating Feminists, Shooting Mama Grizzlies

The "Sarah Palin wants to own feminism" story doesn't want to go away. Ross Douthat claimed in a Sunday Times column that Sarah Palin and the recent surge of primary victories for Republican women are a "happy consequence" of feminist progress. But the whole idea that Sarah Palin can claim to be a feminist annoys Amanda Marcotte to no end. As Marcotte points out, Palin is part of a long line of wealthy, white conservative women who have vociferously opposed feminism while still taking advantage of progress for women.

In my mind, the problem with Palin goes further than that. Palin gave her "Mama Grizzlies" talk to a group of anti-abortion activists and was emphatic about uncompromising opposition to abortion rights.

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin told a group of women who oppose abortion rights that they are responsible for an "emerging, conservative, feminist identity" and have the power to shape politics and elections around the issue of life.

Speaking to a breakfast gathering Friday of the Susan B. Anthony List in downtown Washington, Palin urged more than 500 audience members to back only those candidates for public office who are uncompromisingly opposed to abortion.

Palin might also have said that she's opposed to equal pay for equal work, laws against sexual violence, and opposition to the beauty culture and the attendant eating disorders, plastic surgery, and the like. Like most conservatives, Sarah Palin is opposed to almost everything associated with feminism and probably hates most feminists even as she claims to be a feminist.

Of course, Palin wouldn't have any trouble shooting "mama grizzlies" even as she claims to be one.

Four Radical Theses on Sports Devolution

So, Texas is staying in the Big 12 and the American sports-pocalypse has been put off for another day.

Still, American sports needs radical change and American society needs to change because American sports is a reflection of the larger problems of American society.

Here's five radical ideas for sports devolution.

1. Admit to Ourselves That Baseball Never Existed. I was watching the Cardinals pound Seattle the other night at Locus Street Rendezvous when I had an itch in my ear. Scratching deep, I pulled out a little chip and suddenly the game went off. That's when I realized that the game wasn't real, that baseball as a sport never existed, and that all my memories of baseball had been implanted by Big Brother, Global Government, the One World Conspiracy, or whatever you call it. My baseball memories were as much an implant as Heidi Montag's breasts. As Americans, we need to free ourselves from the monotonous tyranny of "our national pastime" and open ourselves up to better sports alternatives. Confession is good for the soul. Let's admit that there was never any such thing as baseball.

2. Cede the Big Ten States to Canada. Sure the states from Iowa to Pennsylvania have a lot of people, but American sports would be better off without them. So would America as a whole. Big Ten football and Big Ten basketball have to be the two most boring sports on the planet now that we've owned up to the fictional character of baseball. Sports Illustrated congratulates Tom Izzo on forging "a signature style, basketball in pads, that befits the conference in which his team plays." Anybody who watched March Madness this spring knows that most amphetamine addicts get their start as a way to counter-act the downer effect of Big Ten basketball. Of course, the problem with Big Ten basketball is "three yards and a cloud of carpet" Big Ten football and the problem with Big Ten football is that Big Ten states have become "three yards and a cloud of carpet" states. Ultimately, the only way to solve the Big Ten problem is to get rid of the Big Ten states. So I propose that the United States pay Canada to take Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania off our hands. From the Canadian perspective, it will be like gaining a tropical paradise.

3. Justice to Mexico. Sports devolution isn't just a matter of giving away the North Central part of the country. The United States also needs to return California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas to Mexico. We also should throw in Oklahoma as a bonus. That way, our country can rid ourselves of three of the major blights on American sports ethics, the football programs at the University of Southern California, University of Texas, and University of Oklahoma. As an added bonus, that pretty much solves the illegal immigration problem in what's left of the United States.

4. A New French Commonwealth. Of course, the other big problem with American sports is that the U. S. is such a mediocre soccer country. Yeah, we tied England. Big deal. We only scored because of a monumental screw up by the English goalie. We're in the same situation as we were in when that Columbian defender helped us win by scoring an own goal. Why should somebody have to die (the Columbian player was shot and killed later) so the U. S. can win a World Cup game. Of course, we used to be a really lousy soccer country, but there's no reason why the U. S. should be a third tier soccer power while we have so many great athletes growing up here. What we need to realize though is that there's no solution to this problem as long as we're running our own country. So, I propose that the U. S. work out a deal with France where we transfer sovereignty over Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississipi, and Louisiana to the French for about 50 years or however long it takes for these states to fully acclimate themselves to soccer as their no. 1 sport. Then, they can all be transferred back to America. Of course, that's if they decide they want to come back.

That's it. The only solution to the sports crisis in the United States is to break up the country. The U. S. was probably too big anyway.

Limbaugh: The First Step Toward His Fourth Divorce

I wish Rush Limbaugh well in his fourth marriage to Kathryn Rogers, age 33 and blonde. But given that news reports focused much more on Elton John's singing than the bride, the signs don't look too auspicious.

Oh well--no fourth divorce without a fourth marriage.